I clever and witty post from Australia’s best cartoon satirist, Larry Pickering.
Bloody hell, Tony, what was that response this morning all about? You knew you would get a question on your low poll figures. Answer the damned question and make it work for you. Don’t dodge it with hackneyed Gillard-style clichés.
Who are your media staffers? Plants from Gillard’s office?
Whoever it was told you to respond in that fashion, give him a call now and sack hi...m!
This is how you should have answered that question:
“Well, (broad grin) I’m the eternal bearer of bad news, I’m afraid... that’s my job. I’m amazed my polling figures aren’t lower!
“Opposing each of this Government’s stuff-ups is a nasty, full-time job I can’t hope to accomplish in full.
“I guess when people have to face me every morning with yet another disaster to comment on, I can’t aspire to popularity.
“But what I can aspire to is good Opposition no matter what my personal cost in popularity. I’ve got the most distasteful job in politics right now but I can promise you this: I will do it to the best of my ability, and I will continue to do it until the people of Australia have a government they deserve.”
You would have gone up four points by lunchtime, mate. Get rid of those media advisers who vomit shit for you to repeat parrot-fashion each day.
“A python squeeze and not a Cobra strike”? Do you actually pay those idiots for that relentless daily drivel? I know it was supposed to counter Julia’s, “first of July” bullshit but people are suffering vertigo with this type of spin, Tony.
If you want to improve your standing in the polls get yourself a decent media adviser and tell the ones you’ve got that there are jobs still going in Julia’s office.
Maybe Tony needs to have a hot mug of...
There is nothing wrong with criticising the terrible record of the progressives.